NOTE: This is part 1 of our discussion. Link to part 2 is below. 
LET’S GO!!!!!
 
Whether you are ending things with a long-term partner, situationship, or sneaky link, the time immediately after you let that shit go can be both exciting and painful. Don’t get me wrong, the relief that comes with removing someone toxic from your life is an amazing feeling. 

​From my experience, nighttime seems to be when the mask falls off. The strength that would carry me through the day finally leaves. And I found myself sitting with my thoughts. During this time, you may become engrossed in how much you miss them, how much you just want to see them and lay next to them. After breakups, I dreamt about placing my head on their chest and drifting carelessly to sleep. 

​I know what it is like to wake up in the middle of the night and feel as if the weight of the world is pushing down on your chest so hard that you are unable to breathe. I know what it feels like to lay upon pillows soaked with tears and filled with screams. The countless hours praying that a forgetful sleep would remember your name and call to you gently and place all of your worries to rest. The worries that seemed to haunt you night after night. 

​Here we are halfway through the year.  First, Happy PRIDE month! I want to start with honoring the SHERO’s of the fight for equal rights and prominent leaders of the African American and LGBTQIA+ community, Marsha P.  Johnson, and Moms Mabley (Loretta Mary Aiken). So often in history women are left out. Yet, they are an integral part of the larger story we tell, and therefore should be honored for their contributions and the power in their voice to bring equality. 

2015 MEMORY
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Today, I cried harder than I ever had since he told me. For some reason, it felt like I would be able to just hop onto my computer write some amazing things to say and walk around feeling great. I was wrong. The fact that I was even considering making myself emotionally unavailable for the next year brought me to tears. The saddest thing is I’m not ready to let go of him. I want my memories to remain fresh. I want to laugh when I think about him. I want to smile when I see his picture. I want to carry on the happily ever after I created inside my mind.