The Battles of Understanding Self

Giovanna Pryor 

Guest Contributor

​Have you ever felt trapped or alone suffocating- gasping for air both literally or figuratively? 
 
Have you ever felt so disconnected from everything that you felt as if you no longer mattered, or that no one cared? Drowning in your own pain, struggling to understand your purpose and grasping for an understanding of self.

​For many years I suffered from depression and self-harm. I struggled with self-awareness and the simple understanding of self-love. Self-respect was not something I was familiar with
So, I belittled and dismissed myself seeking love, affection, and approval.
 
Playing small and accepting less, I was trapped in my own darkness. I was Intimidated by my own truths, suffocated by my own lies and too scared to face this reflection. This feeling, I was too afraid to feel.
 
I wanted so desperately to be happy. I wanted so desperately to be understood. I wanted so desperately for the pain to go away. I struggled daily to put on a smiling face and pretended to the world that I was not dying inside.
 
For years, I suffered in silence. Scared to speak up, unable to see a possibility of change.

I wished I would have known there were others out there, that I was not alone. I wished I would have been able to see through the hate and judgement. But I could not and I didn’t.
 
That is why I am sharing this darkness with you. That is why I now speak. There was once a day, I was unable to. There was once a time where I was too scared to.
 
Today, let us take a step into the unknown. Let us take a leap of faith and begin to face our truths head on. Today, let us go within and start to heal and begin to look inwards instead of outwards.
 
Today, I encourage you to face your trials and begin to understand self rather than struggling to be understood by others. Today, no longer fight to be seen but seek to see self.
 
This repeated cycle of shame and self-hatred needs to be replaced with a new understanding of self. For we do not need to be held back by our mistakes but learn and grow from them. We must become our ultimate self by feeling empowered by our struggles rather than powerless from them.

Giovanna Pryor

Giovanna Pryor is a self-published Author of the book Soul on Soul Contact face your T.R.U.T.H.S head on. She is also a spiritual life coach and motivational speaker. Giovanna has the ability to speak directly to your soul. Her energy is contagious as she empowers you to believe in your own power. Speaking life into your darkness and sharing tips from her book, she shows ways on facing your own fears. This is done by understanding that your own trials and pain are on a deeper spiritual level. Through that, you will be able to find your voice and with that the power to heal. Teaching valuable tools on how to connect with self and gain self-love, she shares the keys that have the potential to change your life forever. When you realize you’re worthy of the greatness now and at all times, anything you seek is possible! IG: @Giovanna_speaks1111