Addictive Behaviors: More Than Meets the Eye

Sheila King, AA 

Mental Health & Recovery Associate

My addictive behavior comes in many different forms. Mental health is a critical piece of the puzzle.
 
​How does a person know when they are replacing one addictive behavior for another? My addictive behavior can come as substances, things or things that make me feel good. 

​Even with years of sobriety, I can still have addictive behaviors. It just changed from substances to going shopping for food. Sometimes it is so subtle that you don’t even notice it right away. You can buy more than you need, food, clothes or non-necessities. Whatever gives you that high. I do not want that feeling to go away so I do more shopping.
 
I was talking to my husband and he confronted me about spending money buying so much food and over stocking items. My mind is telling me that I’m not hurting anyone. I lie to myself and say, “At least I’m not drinking so what’s the problem?” Here is the problem, it is just like using. I still get that high, but I do not realize until someone who cares about me points it out to me.
 
Even though I have all that I need, I shop for food for fear of going hungry even though it’s not true. My thoughts tell me I do not have enough food even when I can’t see the back of my refrigerator. I know my feelings run deeper than
starvation.
When I look back at my childhood, I remember not having a lot of food and I wished I did. When I had children, I never wanted them to do the things I did for it. When I was making sure they could eat, they were also concerned with my shopping habit of buying too much. They never knew it was my mental health coming into play.
 
When I’m going through it, I’m dealing with anxiety or depression. I just traded seats on the titanic, trading one addiction for another either way getting the deductive backlash. I’m writing this article because maybe someone out there could relate and understand that addictive behaviors can be more than substance abuse.
 
However, remember you are never alone. Once I finally admitted it, accepted it and owned it, I got the chance to heal and improve.
 

Sheila King, AA

Sheila King holds an Associate of Art in Liberal Studies. She has served women experiencing homelessness in Washington, DC for years. She has experience in crisis de-escalation, conflict resolution, and group facilitation. She is passionate about mental health and substance use issues. As a Black woman with mental health concerns, she wants to support all black women on their mental health journey. She also has also been in recovery for 29 years. Instagram: @Mother_of_my_girls