How To Deal With In Appropriate Men At The Gym

Taja Watson-Scott, BS

Physical Health & Wellness Associate

​As a black woman, just getting through what most would call an ordinary day, can be quite an ordeal in itself:

• There’s getting up earlier than you have to so as not to reinforce the stereotype that we’re always late

• If someone irritates or even outright disrespects us, we have to navigate away from our fully justified response of annoyance or even rage as to not be seen as “aggressive”
• While all this is going on, let’s not forget that we’re also carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders because everyone thinks that we’re all “so strong”

We’ve not even made it to the gym at this point, but when we finally do you can feel the lecherous stares while you’re doing your squats.  Have we not been through enough already?
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You may even feel someone brush behind you offering to “give you a spot” (did I even ask though?  I’m quite capable of lifting nearly double my bodyweight thanks...but no thanks, is what I really want to say) “I’m good thanks” and then I roll my eyes as he walks away.  Here we go again.

Clearly, I didn’t need help.  I’m not a damsel in distress.  I’m sure many women who partake in fitness at the gym know this story all too well.

It’s not the looks that are an issue because I am guilty of looking around when I am both walking around the gym and while doing my workout, after all, that’s what our eyes are for.  The issue is with the stares, you know those ones that you can feel burning through the back of you, or the ones you catch from the mirror and it starts to put you off what you’re doing.

Then there’s the ones who go one level further and start using the machine right by you when there is a row of free machines, but oh no, you’ve got to be right next to me.  The top tier  audacity of all of these though are the ones who make physical contact.

It’s behaviour like this that stops many women participating in physical activity altogether and it needs to stop.  Not only is it impeding their physical health, it can also cause distress, discomfort, fear and anxiety.  A woman should feel safe and comfortable when working out.  It’s a place to boost the endorphins, yet the behaviour of some men can completely counteract that as they can cause us to start releasing stress hormones.

Thankfully I can handle my own in the gym as I am a woman on a mission when I get through those doors.  Nothing will get in the way of me and my workout.  Plus, once my headphones are in, the rest of the world doesn’t exist to me with the right playlist blasting.  I know this isn’t the case for all women, so here are some tips to get you through so that you can have the gym session that you deserve:

• Dress in your gym outfit that makes you feel good about yourself and/confident
• Prep what workout you will be doing in advance (that way you would have already mapped out which machines and/or workspaces you need to go to and avoid walking aimlessly.  Someone who looks like they’re on a mission is less likely to be approached)
• Go with a friend if you need to as that way you have a buffer and less likely to be approached
• Have your headphones in and play your favourite workout music or mood boosting playlist to keep you motivated and shut out the rest of the room
• Don’t be intimidated.  People have eyes that they have the right to use, even if that is looking at you, but some of those looks just last a bit too long.  Don’t let that stop you.  Focus on your technique, or if you have a petty side like me stare them out or give them a dirty look!
• Be polite yet assertive if someone does approach you to start with, but if the harassment continues, it is your right to react and call them out.

Don’t let childish behaviour of others get in the way of you and your fitness journey.

Taja Watkins-Scott, BS

My name is Taja Watkins-Scott and professionally, I am a holistic bodywork therapist specializing in Swedish massage, sports massage and rehabilitation and acupuncture. I come from a sporting background both academically and physically and have participated in sport and fitness as far back as I can remember. Although I am a bodywork therapist, many of my clients have found a safe space in me to be vulnerable and let go of anxieties they may be holding on to. As someone who also lives with anxiety it warms my heart that others can find a safe haven in me to let go of theirs.