How to Recover From the Grief of Life After COVID

Tamika Beck 

Grief Support &  Relationship Associate

​When the COVID Virus began to plague the world, I knew that the experiences of the black population would be profoundly different, especially for black women.  We were informed about symptoms, statistical data, job loss, educational impact, and social distancing; but the grief of COVID wasn’t something the was emphasized enough. The reports that I watched had an underlying urgency, the masses wanting to know when life would return to normal.

Of all the advice that we were given, the answer to the most pressing question seemed to be ignored. They couldn’t tell us that in addition to figuring out how to survive the virus as women of color, along with it would come grief that would force us to accept that life before the pandemic was gone.  
 
Yes, COVID was a collective circumstance but our encounters with it were diverse. The symptoms that one person dealt with weren’t a guarantee of the next individual’s presentation. In the early days, information was coming to us at a rapid pace, and knowing what to trust required a lot of courage. As we’ve always done in the black community, we turned to each other for support, education, and reassurance, knowing that as our history has taught, the only people coming to save us, is us. The challenge with that was, the majority of us were young enough to have never encountered anything as globally isolating nor disturbing as Corona.
 
So then, what does all of this have to do with grief recovery? Commonly, we associate grieving with the loss of life and while there are as many forms as there are reasons to grieve, in this instance we are talking about how Co-Vid metaphorically ended life as we knew it. On January 7, 2021, I found myself in the emergency room, struggling to breathe with a headache that is still inexplicable, and feeling like life was slowly being drained from my body. As I was rushed to isolation, tested, prodded, and interrogated about my health, my anxiety began to climb and I realized that who I was in that moment and the woman I use to be were in contrast to one another.
 
It is no secret that as we find stability in our new “normal” with this virus, we must do the recovery work, both emotionally and mentally. Conversations about the psychological impact that this event has had on black women should be of the highest priority.  A safe space is needed so we can discuss the discrimination in the treatment that we received, from our cries for help being ignored to being left alone to die in hospital rooms as we pleaded for our lives. We watched our loved ones succumb while we had to be the backbone of our families, with no room for us to tend to our own aliments nor fears because the world, our community needs us to nurture it back to health.
 
The grief that we are still enduring because of the virus has to be healed for us to continue to move forward and find stability again. This isn’t a journey that will happen overnight, it’s going to take vulnerability, courage, and faith to rebuild our lives. Whether we contracted the virus and are dealing with the rehabilitation, figuring out how to provide after a job loss, deciding if it is safe enough to be among others, or trying to understand how to secure our kid’s education in an already lopsided system; we have a huge task in front of us.

​However, just as history has proven to us that we’ll always have to fight for our rights, it has also taught us that our resiliency is a force that has always fueled our ability to overcome. I don’t have all the answers to what has and is plaguing us. I know that with the support of qualified professionals, we can speak about our experiences collectively and individually. Becoming a part of conversations that ensures the health and wellness of the those coming after us is the beginning to our journey. This journey of COVID Grief Recovery and finding that life after loss, even in the face of a global pandemic, can be beautiful.

Tamika Beck

Tamika Beck, a Blogger, Social Media Influencer, aspiring Wellness Coach/Meditation Practitioner, and Healing Advocate, shares her story of hurt, loss, and healing in an effort to encourage others to begin their journey. Her role as a mentor began with her being a voice for women living with reproductive illnesses like Endometriosis, where she created Periods Should (K)not Be Painful, defying the archaic belief that period pain(intense) is normal. In the midst of working to give visibility to plight of women who are made to feel invisible, Tamika’s life was impacted by the crippling devastation of grief due to the sudden passing of her sister. As a result and due to her own work of healing, her focus shifted. While advocating for the improvement in women’s health, will always be something she works for and towards, creating a space that encourages healing, freedom in spirituality, lasting friendships, and mindful wellness is the passion that fuels her purpose. Because of her own healing experiences, she is able to be a voice for the silent and silenced, showing others who are living under the heaviness of illness, grief, and fear, the life-changing benefits of seeking help to heal. She can be found on social media and her blog as Mika Major where she tells women, “because I’ve been through it, I can help you get through it.