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The Pain of Letting Go
Laqwanda Roberts-Buckley, LMSW
You know, happily ever after, the fake reality where you tell yourself that this is just a temporary thing and what happen didn’t really happen the way you think it did. The fake reality that has the two of you making up somehow and all is forgotten and forgiven. The fake reality that doesn’t have you up in the middle of the night posting to Instagram because you cannot sleep. Yeah, that world… The fake reality that seems great until you realize it’s nothing more than an illusion preventing you from dealing with the fact that you are hurting.
Honestly, wishful thinking can become more harmful than reality. Avoiding the pain or ignoring hurt places you in jeopardy of becoming emotionally stuck. So what do you do when reality is painful and you desire to move forward emotionally? You become completely honest with yourself regarding where you are.
Being honest with myself is actually quite easy. I know that in reality, I do not want to face the truth. I just do not want to say out loud what both my heart and mind are already aware of…. ITS OVER With that said there is only one truth that remains, I have no one to let go of because he is already gone. I am only fighting myself, my thoughts, my emotions, my memories, and my heartbreak. Since I am dealing with myself, I need time to myself to emotionally detox. No Relationships. No Dating. For the next 365 days, I am making myself EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE.
If you have not guessed it, I had enough. I was tired, frustrated and above all hurt. It wasn’t difficult for me to acknowledge my emotions. However, it was very uncomfortable experiencing them.
The initial hurt after any sort of disconnection from someone can be painful. It is during these times we must nurture our emotional selves the best way we can. In 2015, I chose to go on a path called The Emotional Detox Life.
I decided not to date or enter any relationships for a year. This gave me time to confront and manage my emotions without covering them up with a “new face”. Don’t get me wrong here, that year was very beneficial for my life. But that may not be the better path for you. However, I would say consider the following after a breakup.
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