This #GirlDad's Dedication to His Daughter Helped His Ex-Wife Overcome a Mental Health Crisis

Laqwanda Roberts-Buckley, MSSW
Executive Director

The silence of the house was broken by her laughter. I glared at her and slowly shook my head. My 14-year-old daughter seemed to find taking my sweatpants hilarious. Since it was close to bedtime, I just kissed her forehead gently and told her good night. As I walked down the stairs, I chuckled to myself. I made my way to the front door and left for home.
 

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On the drive home, I thought to myself how blessed I was and how thankful I am for her Dad Chris. It's because of him that I can have Mommy daughter moments like this one. You see, my daughter does not live with me. She lives with her Dad and has done so for the past 10 years.

Back in January 2010, our lives changed forever. It was during this time; Chris received an unexpected call from my oldest sister. She had informed him that I had been missing and had be found at a local psychiatric hospital. I was suffering from depression and psychosis. Hearing the news Chris did what any loving Dad would do. He went to pick up his daughter to care for her.
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I have always known him to be an excellent Dad. I could not image what was going through his mind as he traveled to start what would become a new adventure for his and his little one. I never had the courage to ask him until now. Recently, I decided to ask him how he felt about becoming suddenly becoming a single Dad.

According to Chris, "I don't know. I felt challenged. It was different type of situation. I was in the military. I was in a new area. My family wasn’t there. I didn't have a support network. It was challenging and somewhat overwhelming."

Chris had to take on many roles raising a girl alone. While I recovered from my mental health condition, Chris insured that our daughter thrived. From ballet lessons, soccer games, and Karate to tutoring, trips to the nail salon and styling her hair; Chris did not miss a beat. Our daughter was able to explore and experience childhood in ways that kept her smiling.
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​When asked about his fondest memories of raising her, he states, "She would come home with her little projects and crafts that would say "Dad I love you". I would make me feel better. She made me feel better in her own special way."
 
When I told our daughter, I was writing an article about her Dad, she had shared these words about him. She held, " He worked so I could do a lot of things. I really grateful for that. He also taught me the importance of not getting in trouble at school. I use to get in trouble a lot."
 
I could write endless about how Chris ensured that our daughter thrived. However, I wanted to also share how he ensured that my relationship with my daughter thrived as well.
 
As I struggled with learning to manage Bipolar Disorder, I was unemployed. I was almost completely dependent on my family financially. When Chris and our daughter moved nearly 12 hours away, I was heartbroken. Yet Chris stepped in to ensure that the transition was smooth for all of us. He flew me out to see her so that I could do something I had never done…take her to school on the first day. She was in the 3rd grade by then but I didn't care. It was a beautiful moment as I met teachers and walked the halls. Chris allowed me to stay with them for a month and welcomed me back later that year for another month.
 
He routinely showed his generosity in unexpected ways. One day out the blue, he called me and asked, "Do you need a credit card". I didn't know what to say. He explained that he didn't want me to have to ask people for money all the time. He had no idea how good that made me feel on the inside. It felt demeaning asking people to assist me financially. The fact that he was removing that feeling from me was humbling.
 
I could not tell you the countless times Chris has flown me back and forth just so I could spend time with our daughter. Each time, I stayed at his home and had no worries about transportation or finances. He would give me money so that I could take our daughter out to dinner. He would be sure to make it known that gifts were from both he and I. He knew that I was not working and did everything he could to ensure that I did not feel ashamed. Even when I started to work and relocated, he allowed me to stay with him. It was the first time I was able to live with our daughter in years.
 
Earlier this week, I asked him "What drove you to be supportive of your ex-wife?" He replied, "She’s my daughter Mom. She's still her Mom. I want her (my daughter) to see her Mom happy. She will always look to her Mom as an example. Whatever role I can play to make that happen, I will. She's a young lady. I want to set a good example on how a man should treat her based upon how I treat her Mom."
 
Chris also shared words that he had for me as his daughter’s Mom. "Regardless of our situations, we will always be family. I believe that family looks out for each other. Through the good or bad we are there to pull each other through. It sets a foundation for our daughter. We are her family and will always be her family".
 
Honestly, I would not be where I am today without the support of a #GirlDad named Chris. While I fought one of the biggest battles of my life, I found peace in knowing that our daughter had an amazing childhood. Through his actions, Chris taught me a lot about giving and selflessness along the way. He also taught me the truest meaning of supporting family.
 
Since my hospitalization 10 years ago, I have held the titles of Advocate, Clinician, Crisis Counselor, Director, Speaker, Life Coach and Founder. However, it was the title of Mom that I cared the most about. It is because of an amazing #GirlDad that I can experience a healthy co-parenting relationship.
 
To Chris I say, THANK YOU! As I healed, you took on the role of a single dad and mastered it. Thank you for establishing a beautiful foundation for my relationship with our daughter. I am forever grateful for every sacrifice you made for her and for every kind gesture you made towards me. Thank you for simply being a dependable, dedicated, and loving #GirlDad.


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Laqwanda Roberts-Buckley, MSSW

Laqwanda Roberts-Buckley, MSSW, is a Certified Life Coach, Reiki Practitioner, and Mental Health Advocate. She has served the mental health community as a public speaker, crisis line counselor, and therapist. She routinely opens the doorway to her emotional self to encourage the hearts of others through lifestyle video blogs for her Youtube channel Laqwanda’s Heart with nearly 32,000 subscribers. It is her desire to simply inspire others to discover peace along their journey in life. You can follow Laqwanda on Instagram @Laqwandasheart